Oh boy, where do I begin. Today was interesting to say the least. For the first hour or so I didn't have a single table and then finally I got my first ONE TOP!!! Shortly thereafter I get sat a two top right next to my other table. Before even sitting down the lady decides she is going to help herself to our salad bar... Ok that's fine and all, but at least sit down first next time and let your server greet you like a normal person. So I happen to walk past the bartender and he goes "Hey, so your table...." and I immediately say "What did they do!?!?" The bartender continues to inform me that they are "cut off" and that they were acting afool at the bar.
That's when I realize my night just got a whole lot more messed up... I smile sheepishly and then make my way back to the table from hell... Only the guy is sitting there now and I greet him with my usual welcome. He doesn't even bother to look up from his stupid cell phone game and barks out a few orders. I suggest some water and bread (to sober them up) and he falls for the bait. Little did I know this guy was already black out drunk. Soon I realize that they had also ordered some appetizers from the bar, which they both had forgotten about of course, and I bring them out. The sloppy drunk lady spills half her salad off her plate which is piled up like MOUNT EVEREST on this tiny little plate, in an attempt to make room for their apps.
At some point in the meal, this guy decides he is going outside, leaving his poor date in a state of confusion. The guy was so drunk that he didn't even know where his table was on the way back and had to be escorted by the host. I didn't see this, but apparently he was harassing other tables on the way back. That's when the chef and GM decided they had to leave and printed their tab out for me to hand to them. I awkwardly headed back their way to drop check and without missing a beat asked if they wanted their food to go. Both of them were so drunk I don't think they even realized they were being kicked out (nicely). This next part I called from a MILE away- I knew this guy was the type to take BOTH receipt copies like many drunken douchebags do. That's why I made it clear when I went back with the processed card that I need back the top copy and he can keep the rest. He of course mutters in agreement... I return about 60 seconds later and he has already pocketed both copies, so I remind him "Hey I actually need one of those copies back please." He goes alright alright and then I walk away. I knew 100% that he didn't listen to a damn word I said so I checked his book as soon as he got up.... OF COURSE ITS EMPTY. So I follow the guy and say "Pardon me, you actually took both copies of the receipt." Anyone who has even tried to reason with a drunken moron knows what's next. He is confused and acting like he has no idea what I'm talking about even though this is now the third time I have mentioned this to him. Needless to say he can't find the receipt in his pocket, after barely trying to look. I get the manager to re-print his receipt and ask him to sign it, again he acts confused. After signing ONLY his signature I mention I need him to fill out the total.... at this point I want to punch him in his stupid drunk face SO SO SO badly but I cannot. How do people like this even exist?!?!
And the icing on the cake tonite was when I was walking around the corner with a huge tray loaded up with two desserts, an entire bag filled with leftovers, and one of our biggest salads, I ended up somehow catching the handle of the bag onto one of the sprinker heads on the ceiling. The sudden weight shift caused my entire tray to topple in my hands causing a huge scene with broken plates and salad flying everywhere. The bag of leftovers was hanging from the ceiling and I didn't even realize it! Luckily I saved one of the desserts but had to explain to all of my tables what took so long and why it was so loud. Yeahhh the struggle was real tonite!!! #serverlyf