I remember my first day- I was excited, optimistic, fresh faced and naïve. Back then things were beautiful and pristine in my eyes. As time has dragged on that façade slowly faded away and the reality set in. You see the cracks in the foundation... the instability in the structure of the whole system.
When I first started at this job there were 4 of us training at the same time (I will use letter abbreviations for their names). J, R, C and myself. J and C quickly quit within the first month or two. For the following two years my buddy "R" and I worked together- enduring all of the bullsh*t that restaurant work throw at you. Eventually I felt the wear and tear of the job sapping my health and energy. First your physical strength drops from the calorie deficit and constant abuse, then your mental health from the stress and lack of sleep/nutrition.
Almost like a war of attrition we both wanted to be the last man standing. I guess I won, but at what cost? "R" is long gone. Moved onto another job, greener pastures as he described it. During his last month I told him jokingly that he looked like he had escaped from prison, ran through the woods for a week and the threw on a black shirt and came to work- the guy looked ROUGH.
I guess some days I probably look like that after staying up til 5 or 6 am trying to relax and decompress. Dark circles under the eyes and a general malaise the next day. Today I definitely felt like quitting out of sheer hatred for the job, I'm not going to lie. I had to remind myself that people across every sector probably hate their jobs at one point or another and regardless of the career I choose I would still have days like this. This is the life that I chose and I have to deal with it.
How much longer can I endure this path?