Every decision you make can open or close a door in your path. Sometimes you make these decisions by accident and other times by choice. Every once in a while you get lucky and stumble into a fortune or a fantastic situation. Other times you may be destined for failure or defeat automatically from the start. We can only learn from our mistakes and move on...
There are often times when I look back and say " Why didn't I see the red flags?!" or "What in the hell was I thinking? Was I even thinking???" Being human we are all prone to mistakes and faults. We must own up to these mistakes and move forward- try to make amends. Pointing the finger of blame only creates more problems instead of solving them.
I became a server out of necessity for a better job- a different KIND of job. Something that wasn't nine to five or some sort of cubicle corporate bullshit. I was frankly tired of working retail and doing hourly work in general. I had even managed at a few places but the responsibility and bureaucracy eventually wore me thin. I was lucky enough to fall into the serving industry by chance... one of my exes was a server for YEARS and explained it all to me. I was sold after I learned I could make DOUBLE what I was making before in LESS HOURS.
Flash forward 5 years and here I am. Being a naturally observant person of course I would absorb and learn everything there is around me. I have learned the ins and outs of this job without a doubt. Sometimes it can be exhausting beyond belief, mentally, emotionally and physically. We are performers so to speak- presenting a fake version of our real personality. Be it friendlier, less timid, more exciting, or MORE REFINED. All the while executing your job perfectly.
If you aren't acting you aren't making the most you can while serving. This industry is about presentation not reality.
All the while I have to maintain my own sanity behind the scenes among a crowded, hot and often uncomfortable crew of servers, cooks, dishwashers, bussers, hosts and managers. The show MUST go on- we can't have it any other way! The stress is the first thing that gets to people. The constant emotional and mental drain will break you down must faster than the physical strain. It is a job for sadists in a way.
I have seen many people come and go and it doesn't even phase me anymore. I am used to the chaos, the panic, the drama and antics. In a sick way I enjoy the absolute anarchy that ensues while we are working- I thrive in this this environment.
The trade-off is clear. Money today for your soul tomorrow. Such is the way of life.